Long Distance Relationships

Get The Closeness You Desire From Your Long Distance Relationship

Many people, especially those who have never experienced one, feel that long distance relationships are a disaster waiting to happen. 

This is not always the case. 

Like geographically close relationships, long distant love have unique challenges and opportunities for growth.  All relationships require a commitment and dedication from both parties. 

If only one person is working on the success of the relationship then the relationship will not last. 

But, contrary to popular belief people in geographically close relationships do not have a better chances of success. 

Both types of relationships require the partners to devote time and energy to connecting on an intimate level. 

A common complaint from women is that men are not open with their feeling and don’t share their every day trails and tribulations.  In long distance relationships this is of less concern

Unlike geographically close relationships where couples spend their time together going to movies, parties and bed, couples in distant relationships tend to cherish the scheduled conversation and the spontaneous surprises more.

During the period of separation couples are less likely to discuss critical issues because they want to cherish the time they have together.  Remember that all relationships have issues and it is important to set aside time to work on problems as a couple. 

Not only do people in distant love affairs display the best attributes of their personality for a longer time; they also tend to put their mate on pedestal more then geographically close partners.  

Although it’s good to admire your partner it is not healthy to disillusion yourself with thoughts of perfection when thinking about your mate.  This set your relationship up for disaster.  When you reunite permanently the perfect person that you created in your head will certainly disappoint you.  

Couples with distance between them are normally more concerned with their partner cheating.  Research shows that people in long distance relationships do not cheat any more than anyone else. 

People cheat due to problems in the relationship or because cheating is a part of their personality and upbringing. 

Couples in long distance relationships are no more likely than anyone else to cheat on one another. 

Life Coaching Moment

In order to maintain (or establish) a fun, committed relationship through the miles of separation make sure you DO NOT do any of the following:

1. Don’t detach yourself from the company of others.  Hang out with friends, go to social events. 

2. Don’t be afraid to be seen alone in public.  Go to a movie, go out to dinner or just go for a walk.  The worse thing to do is seat in the house alone. 

3. Don’t become obsessed with your situations.  If you constantly think about being lonely or are envious of other couples you will begin to feel depressed.  Find something to occupy your time while you wait for your Boo.  Take on a challenging project at work, start a hobby, become a volunteer, go back to school, learn a foreign language… the list goes on and on.

4. Don’t expect every visitation to be filled with romantic bliss.  All relationships have their own unique set of problems expect them, talk about them, and cherish them as an opportunity for growth. 

5. Don’t be pessimistic about the relationship.  Don’t allow others to fill your head with negative thoughts about your long distance relationship.  Remember research shows that people in long distance relationships do NOT have more affairs than other couples. 

6. Don’t save intimacy for only when you are together.  Regardless of your budget modern technology has something that will help you maintain a lasting bond with your mate. 

Here are some cool way to use technology to enhance your long distance relationship:

a.  Digital recording key chains

b. Talking picture frames

c. Talk about every day events. Most cell phone companies allow unlimited in-network calls

d. Hide small gifts throughout the house on your next visit or leave the gifts with a friend.  Call your mate and tell them where to go look for their special treat.

e. Hand write a letter and mail it via standard mail this is a long forgotten but much cherished token of love.  Most people keep this letter for as long as the relationship is together and sometime after that. For an extra special touch add your favorite cologne or perfume. 

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