Rebound Relationships
Your Rebound Relationships can Last
Rebound relationships proceed with caution.
Have you ever heard the saying “the quickest way to get over a (wo)man
is to get a new (wo)man”?
Well that type of thinking is the foundation of
most relationships that are on the rebound.
In a rebound relationship a person jumps into
a relationship with a new mate quicker than they complete their final
phone call with their old partner. This quick hooking-up create
relationship problems because you are not able to fully commit to the new person.
We all desire a committed and fulfilling relationship. Our
desire for such happiness is what causes us to quickly leap into a new
relationship with little time to heal from the pain of our
loss.
If you haven’t taken the time to heal from your last relationship,
inevitably you will have constants thoughts and memories of your old
partner.
These uncontrollable thoughts are what makes courting someone while you are on the rebound
wrong.
In rebound relationships the reboundee often ends up hurt or feeling
used by the rebounder.
In an ideal world one would not enter into a new relationship until
they were completely over their old partner.
This can only be
achieved with time if you want to avoid common
relationship issues with your next partner. We all need time to heal from a failed
relationship.
How
much time?
Some specialists think a person should not date for one month for each
year that they were in the relationship. So if you were in a
relationship for 3 years then you need 3 months to get to know you
before you start dating again.
I personally think that if you
were in a relationship lasting 5 years or less you should take six
months off from dating. If your relationship lasted more than
5 years you should not date for 12 months.
Why?
First of all committing yourself to someone for that length of time and
having the relationship fail is devastating.
It is important
that you understand your contribution to the dissolution of the
relationship as to decrease the chance of it occurring again.
It is
only human that we think about past relationships and how they went
wrong. It’s not fair to jump into a new relationship because
you will inevitably project the mental negativity onto your current
partner.
Life
Coaching Moment
Your
rebound relationship can be successful if you follow these simple steps:
1.
Be honest with yourself and take the time to heal. You can
begin healing by journaling or talking with someone like a friend or
me.
2.
Take the relationship slowly. Do not make future plans with
your new partner until you completely understand your contribution to
the failure of the relationship. Both partners are to blame
when a relationship fails.
3.
Forgive your ex and yourself. Unless you forgive you will
carry around “baggage” from one relationship to the next.
Baggage is tricky because we think no one can look into those bags but
us. The truth is all your dirty laundry is normally visible
to others. It’s easier for others to see things
that you can’t about your personality.
4. Do
not talk to friends or family members whom did not like your ex
anyway. They will miss the point. You do not need
someone to tell you he wasn’t good for you anyway. Or she was
a tramp. You need someone who can help you understand how you
contributed to the failure of the relationship so it does not become a
pattern.
If you are suffering from the after affects of a rebound relationship a
relationship coach can help you move past the pain an on to a healthier
relationship.
From
Rebound
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